september rewind \\ burn out central

As you can guess from the title, I am really happy that September is coming to a close, because it was not the most stellar month. It wasn’t horrible by my usual standards, but it was hard to get through. This is mainly because I felt super burnt out in all the important aspects of my life.

The two biggest areas in which I feel super burnt out are at my library job and with reading, which is basically all I do anyway these days. I think I was burnt out at work because my coworker was out a lot because of various reasons and I had to deal with behavior problems of teens by myself, which stressed me the heck out, plus I had to work two Friday & Saturdays in a row, which only added to my stress. I was really irritable a lot of the time both in and out of work, and just have no tolerance for people being rude to me outside of work anymore because people are rude all the time at the library.

I think I’m also getting to a point where I’m burnt out with my reading. I keep finding myself in reading slumps where I don’t know what to read and/or don’t want to read anything, and I don’t know what to do about it. I think I might take a break from reading for a while, but I don’t know if that will help or just prolong the slump. I need new reading strategies to get myself to read and like things that I’m reading. It didn’t help that I didn’t like most of what I read this month, either, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Now, onto non-personal things:

What I Read

I ended up reading 6 books this month, and most of them were…not very good. I had 4 predicted 5-star reads that ended up being 3 stars or less, mainly the poetry. RANGOLI is one I was really psyched to read, but none of the poems really stuck with me or made an impact on me personally. I was also very excited to read Cyrus Parker’s poetry book because he’s Amanda Lovelace’s partner, and I love her, but his collection, DROPKICK ROMANCE, was TERRIBLE. I’ve noticed that both of their poetry that is about their relationship is just…really bad. They need to stop writing about each other.

In terms of fiction, my biggest disappointment was TURTLES ALL THE WAY DOWN. My mom and boyfriend both loved it, but I thought Aza was a really one-dimensional character. I get that her anxiety was consuming her, but people still have personalities and interests even when they have anxiety, and she had neither. The “mystery” was also really dull, and Daisy, her best friend, was super annoying. I also wasn’t as big a fan of JACK OF HEARTS as I thought I would be. I liked the mystery, but in terms of character development, it left a lot to be desired. I felt like all we knew about Jack was that he liked sex. The mystery was somewhat fun, but I just wanted more from it.

Blogging Things

This was a pretty decent blogging month for me. I felt like my views went up slightly, and I hit 200+ followers! It’s a small number but I feel good about it. I also was nominated for two blogging awards, the Liebster Award and the Mystery Blogger Award! I am so honored by and thankful for these nominations; it makes me feel like people are enjoying my blog even if my numbers aren’t as high as I’d wish them to be.

I did get in a bit of a commenting slump this month. Since starting blogging again, I’ve been trying to comment more on other people’s blogs and keep up with my own comments, which is something I never did in the past. I’ve definitely noticed an increase in engagement with my posts since I started doing this, and besides that and more importantly, it’s really nice to interact with other bloggers who I like and admire so much. I never felt like part of the community when I blogged before, and now I feel like I even have blogging friends who I talk to frequently via comments. Which is why I feel bad that I haven’t been commenting on other people’s blogs as much lately. Hopefully I’ll feel more motivated to do so this month.

I also started a booklr because I’ve gotten really into Tumblr again lately. I find the witch community on Tumblr super fascinating and cool, and have been studying it a lot over the past couple of months. I decided to start a booklr/witchblr side blog where I talk about witchcraft in relation to books at cottoncandybookwitch, and it’s been fun so far even though it doesn’t have nearly as many followers as my main blog. I’ve been debating making the booklr/witchblr my main so I can talk about books more, but I also like having an online space that isn’t only about books. I really like the Tumblr style of posting as well; I feel like I can have more of a variety of post types and lengths, plus reblogging is fun.

 

Favorites

I’m thinking about getting rid of this section because I haven’t had much to post in it in a while, but we’ll see. I guess I don’t have to stick to a certain number for this list, because it’s my blog and I can do what I want!

  1. Washi tape. I bullet journal, and lots of bullet journalers LOVE washi tape. I’ve decided to try experimenting more with my journal, and I bought some different colors and patterns of washi tape last month that I really like. It makes journaling different than what I usually do and it looks super cute!
  2. My jade roller. Jade and rose quartz rollers seem to be the new “thing” in beauty, and as a beauty/makeup/skincare lover, I had to try one. I’m not entirely certain what the point or actual benefits are, but let me tell you, it is so relaxing to run the roller over my face. It’s basically massaging your whole face, which I guess is beneficial in itself.
  3. Birthday gift cards. This is just a general one, but I got a bunch of $125 gift cards for my birthday last month (I turned 25 so my parents decided to get punny), and I’ve been really enjoying having money for fun things. It’s always nice to have things you want and be able to get them without having to worry about actually paying.

 

Continue Reading

september rewind \\ burn out central

As you can guess from the title, I am really happy that September is coming to a close, because it was not the most stellar month. It wasn’t horrible by my usual standards, but it was hard to get through. This is mainly because I felt super burnt out in all the important aspects of my life.

The two biggest areas in which I feel super burnt out are at my library job and with reading, which is basically all I do anyway these days. I think I was burnt out at work because my coworker was out a lot because of various reasons and I had to deal with behavior problems of teens by myself, which stressed me the heck out, plus I had to work two Friday & Saturdays in a row, which only added to my stress. I was really irritable a lot of the time both in and out of work, and just have no tolerance for people being rude to me outside of work anymore because people are rude all the time at the library.

I think I’m also getting to a point where I’m burnt out with my reading. I keep finding myself in reading slumps where I don’t know what to read and/or don’t want to read anything, and I don’t know what to do about it. I think I might take a break from reading for a while, but I don’t know if that will help or just prolong the slump. I need new reading strategies to get myself to read and like things that I’m reading. It didn’t help that I didn’t like most of what I read this month, either, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Now, onto non-personal things:

What I Read

I ended up reading 6 books this month, and most of them were…not very good. I had 4 predicted 5-star reads that ended up being 3 stars or less, mainly the poetry. RANGOLI is one I was really psyched to read, but none of the poems really stuck with me or made an impact on me personally. I was also very excited to read Cyrus Parker’s poetry book because he’s Amanda Lovelace’s partner, and I love her, but his collection, DROPKICK ROMANCE, was TERRIBLE. I’ve noticed that both of their poetry that is about their relationship is just…really bad. They need to stop writing about each other.

In terms of fiction, my biggest disappointment was TURTLES ALL THE WAY DOWN. My mom and boyfriend both loved it, but I thought Aza was a really one-dimensional character. I get that her anxiety was consuming her, but people still have personalities and interests even when they have anxiety, and she had neither. The “mystery” was also really dull, and Daisy, her best friend, was super annoying. I also wasn’t as big a fan of JACK OF HEARTS as I thought I would be. I liked the mystery, but in terms of character development, it left a lot to be desired. I felt like all we knew about Jack was that he liked sex. The mystery was somewhat fun, but I just wanted more from it.

Blogging Things

This was a pretty decent blogging month for me. I felt like my views went up slightly, and I hit 200+ followers! It’s a small number but I feel good about it. I also was nominated for two blogging awards, the Liebster Award and the Mystery Blogger Award! I am so honored by and thankful for these nominations; it makes me feel like people are enjoying my blog even if my numbers aren’t as high as I’d wish them to be.

I did get in a bit of a commenting slump this month. Since starting blogging again, I’ve been trying to comment more on other people’s blogs and keep up with my own comments, which is something I never did in the past. I’ve definitely noticed an increase in engagement with my posts since I started doing this, and besides that and more importantly, it’s really nice to interact with other bloggers who I like and admire so much. I never felt like part of the community when I blogged before, and now I feel like I even have blogging friends who I talk to frequently via comments. Which is why I feel bad that I haven’t been commenting on other people’s blogs as much lately. Hopefully I’ll feel more motivated to do so this month.

I also started a booklr because I’ve gotten really into Tumblr again lately. I find the witch community on Tumblr super fascinating and cool, and have been studying it a lot over the past couple of months. I decided to start a booklr/witchblr side blog where I talk about witchcraft in relation to books at cottoncandybookwitch, and it’s been fun so far even though it doesn’t have nearly as many followers as my main blog. I’ve been debating making the booklr/witchblr my main so I can talk about books more, but I also like having an online space that isn’t only about books. I really like the Tumblr style of posting as well; I feel like I can have more of a variety of post types and lengths, plus reblogging is fun.

 

Favorites

I’m thinking about getting rid of this section because I haven’t had much to post in it in a while, but we’ll see. I guess I don’t have to stick to a certain number for this list, because it’s my blog and I can do what I want!

  1. Washi tape. I bullet journal, and lots of bullet journalers LOVE washi tape. I’ve decided to try experimenting more with my journal, and I bought some different colors and patterns of washi tape last month that I really like. It makes journaling different than what I usually do and it looks super cute!
  2. My jade roller. Jade and rose quartz rollers seem to be the new “thing” in beauty, and as a beauty/makeup/skincare lover, I had to try one. I’m not entirely certain what the point or actual benefits are, but let me tell you, it is so relaxing to run the roller over my face. It’s basically massaging your whole face, which I guess is beneficial in itself.
  3. Birthday gift cards. This is just a general one, but I got a bunch of $125 gift cards for my birthday last month (I turned 25 so my parents decided to get punny), and I’ve been really enjoying having money for fun things. It’s always nice to have things you want and be able to get them without having to worry about actually paying.

 

Continue Reading

October TBR

Ummm how is it already time for my October TBR list?? I’m v confused by this but also excited because there are SO MANY good books coming out this month that I am DYING to read. So, without further ado, here is my October TBR!

  • Damsel | Elana K. Arnold | Oct. 2 – I’m maybe not *as* excited for this one as most of the ones on this list, but I’m still including it because I might read it. This one is about a girl who is rescued from a dragon as a rite of passage for a local prince, but not everything about her rescue is as it seems.
  • The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy | Mackenzi Lee | Oct. 2 – I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE I COULD SCREAM!!!! GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE SEQUEL!! WITH FELICITY!
  • When We Caught Fire | Anna Godbersen | Oct. 2 – I haven’t read a book by this author since her LUXE series, but I loved that one as a kid and have been debating rereading it. This one sounds like a Gossip Girl-esque historical fic about high society, scandals, and romance, so I’m hoping it’ll be as good as I’m expecting.

 

  • Grim Lovelies | Megan Shepherd | Oct. 2 – I have been looking forward to a new Megan Shepherd book that’s not a dystopian or MG since her first trilogy ended. I’m a *little* nervous about this one because I saw a very negative review of it from a blogger I like recently, but maybe it’ll still be good?
  • Sawkill Girls | Claire Legrand | Oct. 2 – Horror with queer girls? YES, PLEASE!

 

  • Bridge of Clay | Markus Zusak | Oct. 9 – TBH, I don’t remember THE BOOK THIEF all that much, so this one I’m mainly reading because of the hype.
  • Blanca & Roja | Anna-Marie McLemore | Oct. 9 – I am embarrassed to say I have yet to read a book by this author, but I really want to! Maybe this Snow White retelling will be my first?
  • What If It’s Us | Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera | Oct. 9 – I am apprehensive about this because I don’t really like either of these authors very much, but they’re both known for their queer stuff so of course I have to read this one despite my misgivings. Plus, there’s always a chance it could be as good as Simon Vs.

 

  • A Very Large Expanse of Sea | Tahereh Mafi | Oct. 16 – TAHEREH! MAFI’S!! FIRST! CONTEMPORARY!!! (technically 2002, but that’s still contemporary, right? My life is not historical fiction yet??) BUT SERIOUSLY NEED I SAY MORE???
  • The Light Between Worlds | Laura E. Weymouth | Oct. 23 – This book sounds like basically a YA Narnia minus the religious allegories, and I am interested in reading it.

 

Continue Reading

Books I’ve Added to my TBR Recently

All bookworms understand the problem of the never-ending TBR list. My “want to read” shelf on Goodreads is currently 359 books long, but that doesn’t mean I ever stop adding to it. Today, I wanted to share some of the titles that I have added to my TBR list over the past couple of months.

  • Enchantee | Gita Trelease – This is one that I added mainly because of the hype, aka everyone asking for it on #booksfortrade. However, it does sound quite good. It’s about a girl in Paris in 1789 whose parents die of smallpox, and then she uses dark magic to transform herself to survive. I like alternate histories with magic, so this should be fun.
  • The Everlasting Rose | Dhonielle Clayton – I don’t know how I missed the cover reveal for this??? It’s not as pretty as THE BELLES, but still good. I’m debating rereading THE BELLES before diving into this book, which I wanted to read as soon as I was autoapproved on NetGalley. I am looking forward to this sequel.
  • Slayer | Kiersten White – I really liked Kiersten White’s paranormal duology from a couple years ago, and this book sounds different than the other based-on-already-existing-stories books out there like the YA Marvel books. This isn’t about Buffy, but still has to do with vampire slayage and such. I might actually give this one a read.

 

37678396.jpg

  • An Assassin’s Guide to Love & Treason | Virginia Boecker – I dislike that this title is a rip of of the GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE duology, but oh well. I added this on kind of a whim after hearing about it at a virtual librarian’s conference, and it sounds like it might be good. A girl discovers her father was plotting to kill Queen Elizabeth I, and sets out to carry out his mission.
  • Winterwood | Shea Earnshaw – This is the second book by the author of THE WICKED DEEP, which I still haven’t read. It’s about a creepy forest in the mountains where a boy everyone thought was dead suddenly returns. Give me all the creeptastic, atmospheric YA, please!
  • The Last Witchdoctor | Rena Barron – This book is set in a West-African inspired fantasy kingdom, and is about a girl who can’t do magic even though she’s descended from a long line of witch doctors.

 

Are any of these books on your lists? What have you added to your TBR recently?

Continue Reading

www wednesday \\ 9-18-18

WWW Wednesday is a book blog meme hosted by Taking On A World of Words where book bloggers answer these questions:

  • What are you currently reading?
  • What are you reading next?
  • What did you just finish reading?

 

Just Finished

38496752

I liked this one okay, but was really uncomfortable with all the graphic descriptions of sex. It’s weird, because I’m not uncomfortable or prudish with sex IRL, but when I read or even watch TV, I cannot do graphic sex. Even ACOTAR makes me uncomfortable (although I guess I don’t need to say “even” since it’s pretty graphic). I thought the mystery was well done, and I liked that I couldn’t guess who the blackmailer/stalker was, but it was still within reason. The rep also seemed good. Still, I wanted more out of the character development because I felt like all we knew about Jack was that he likes sex and is gay.

 

Currently Reading

I am not liking either book I am reading. I started DROPKICK ROMANCE yesterday, but it’s really bad. All of the poems are just explaining what happened during a toxic, long-distance relationship and then his current relationship with his wife, but they’re really basic and not emotional and just…boring. SUMMER BIRD BLUE is okay, so I might finish it, but it just hits too close to home what with her wishing it was her who died instead of the person who actually died and is a really hard read, without being that good. I don’t feel emotionally connected to any of the characters. I just don’t know if I’m going to continue this one.

 

Reading Next

38139409

I don’t know if I’ll read this one exactly next since I’m sort of trying to do the Contemporary-A-Thon, but I do hope to read it this weekend. I am in the mood for something creepy and atmospheric with angry kissing girl goodness.

 

Continue Reading

www wednesday \\ 9-18-18

WWW Wednesday is a book blog meme hosted by Taking On A World of Words where book bloggers answer these questions:

  • What are you currently reading?
  • What are you reading next?
  • What did you just finish reading?

 

Just Finished

38496752

I liked this one okay, but was really uncomfortable with all the graphic descriptions of sex. It’s weird, because I’m not uncomfortable or prudish with sex IRL, but when I read or even watch TV, I cannot do graphic sex. Even ACOTAR makes me uncomfortable (although I guess I don’t need to say “even” since it’s pretty graphic). I thought the mystery was well done, and I liked that I couldn’t guess who the blackmailer/stalker was, but it was still within reason. The rep also seemed good. Still, I wanted more out of the character development because I felt like all we knew about Jack was that he likes sex and is gay.

 

Currently Reading

I am not liking either book I am reading. I started DROPKICK ROMANCE yesterday, but it’s really bad. All of the poems are just explaining what happened during a toxic, long-distance relationship and then his current relationship with his wife, but they’re really basic and not emotional and just…boring. SUMMER BIRD BLUE is okay, so I might finish it, but it just hits too close to home what with her wishing it was her who died instead of the person who actually died and is a really hard read, without being that good. I don’t feel emotionally connected to any of the characters. I just don’t know if I’m going to continue this one.

 

Reading Next

38139409

I don’t know if I’ll read this one exactly next since I’m sort of trying to do the Contemporary-A-Thon, but I do hope to read it this weekend. I am in the mood for something creepy and atmospheric with angry kissing girl goodness.

 

Continue Reading

TTT \\ Fall TBR

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jana at That Artsy Reader Girl. This week’s topic is to share your fall TBR list!

  1. Sawkill Girls | Claire Legrand | October 2 – This is a YA horror novel, so woohoo for that. I have not read horror in a while. The author said on her twitter account once that it has girls kissing, angry girls, and creepiness, so I am here for it.
  2. What If It’s Us | Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera | October 9 – I am apprehensive about this book because it’s by two authors who everyone else loves known for queer books, but I have only liked one book each by them. However, since it is queer I feel obligated to read it. It’s about two boys who meet cute and their subsequent relationship.
  3. Rule | Ellen Goodlett | September 11 – RULE was pitched as Pretty Little Liars meets THREE DARK CROWNS, and I will read anything comped to PLL. Basically, the king is dying and he brings his three illegitimate daughters to court, but someone knows all their secrets and is trying to blackmail them to keep them from becoming queens.

 

4. Jack of Hearts | L. C. Rosen | October 30 – This book is about a sexually active gay teen who writes a sex advice column, but then someone tries to blackmail him back in the closet and he has to figure out who’s been stalking him. So basically a dark Simon. Very excited for this one!

5. The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy | Mackenzi Lee | October 2 – The sequel to GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE!!!!!! Need I say more? No, not really. GG sequel about Felicity, the sister, with ace rep!

6. A Very Large Expanse of Sea | Tahereh Mafi | October 16 – Tahereh Mafi’s first contemporary novel! That is basically all anyone needs to know about it.

 

7. Summer Bird Blue | Akemi Dawn Bowman | September 11 – I didn’t read this author’s first book, but everyone seemed to really like it so I’m feeling optimistic about this one. SBB is about a girl who wants to make music forever with her sister, but then her sister dies, she goes to Hawaii, and it sounds like the kind of sad contemp I used to love. We’ll see if I can love it now.

8. When We Caught Fire | Anna Godbersen | October 2 – I honestly don’t really know what this book is about other than that it’s historical fic, but I’m just excited she has a new book that’s not a series. I loved her LUXE series and have been debating rereading it, so hopefully this one lives up to my expectations.

9. Pulp| Robin Talley | November 13 – I really liked this author’s last book, AS I DESCENDED (lesbian Macbeth retelling), so I have high hopes for this one as well. It’s a dual narrative that shifts between a story about a girl in love with her best friend in the days of Macarthyism and a girl in the present who is doing her senior project on 1950s lesbian pulp fiction. It sounds very cool and gay.

10. A Blade So Black | L. L. McKinney | September 25 – Black Alice in Wonderland retelling yes yes yes I love Alice retellings so much, plus it’s diverse so = !!!!!!

Continue Reading

TTT \\ Fall TBR

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jana at That Artsy Reader Girl. This week’s topic is to share your fall TBR list!

  1. Sawkill Girls | Claire Legrand | October 2 – This is a YA horror novel, so woohoo for that. I have not read horror in a while. The author said on her twitter account once that it has girls kissing, angry girls, and creepiness, so I am here for it.
  2. What If It’s Us | Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera | October 9 – I am apprehensive about this book because it’s by two authors who everyone else loves known for queer books, but I have only liked one book each by them. However, since it is queer I feel obligated to read it. It’s about two boys who meet cute and their subsequent relationship.
  3. Rule | Ellen Goodlett | September 11 – RULE was pitched as Pretty Little Liars meets THREE DARK CROWNS, and I will read anything comped to PLL. Basically, the king is dying and he brings his three illegitimate daughters to court, but someone knows all their secrets and is trying to blackmail them to keep them from becoming queens.

 

4. Jack of Hearts | L. C. Rosen | October 30 – This book is about a sexually active gay teen who writes a sex advice column, but then someone tries to blackmail him back in the closet and he has to figure out who’s been stalking him. So basically a dark Simon. Very excited for this one!

5. The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy | Mackenzi Lee | October 2 – The sequel to GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE!!!!!! Need I say more? No, not really. GG sequel about Felicity, the sister, with ace rep!

6. A Very Large Expanse of Sea | Tahereh Mafi | October 16 – Tahereh Mafi’s first contemporary novel! That is basically all anyone needs to know about it.

 

7. Summer Bird Blue | Akemi Dawn Bowman | September 11 – I didn’t read this author’s first book, but everyone seemed to really like it so I’m feeling optimistic about this one. SBB is about a girl who wants to make music forever with her sister, but then her sister dies, she goes to Hawaii, and it sounds like the kind of sad contemp I used to love. We’ll see if I can love it now.

8. When We Caught Fire | Anna Godbersen | October 2 – I honestly don’t really know what this book is about other than that it’s historical fic, but I’m just excited she has a new book that’s not a series. I loved her LUXE series and have been debating rereading it, so hopefully this one lives up to my expectations.

9. Pulp| Robin Talley | November 13 – I really liked this author’s last book, AS I DESCENDED (lesbian Macbeth retelling), so I have high hopes for this one as well. It’s a dual narrative that shifts between a story about a girl in love with her best friend in the days of Macarthyism and a girl in the present who is doing her senior project on 1950s lesbian pulp fiction. It sounds very cool and gay.

10. A Blade So Black | L. L. McKinney | September 25 – Black Alice in Wonderland retelling yes yes yes I love Alice retellings so much, plus it’s diverse so = !!!!!!

Continue Reading

Contemporary-A-Thon TBR

It’s time again…for a readathon! I recently wrote about whether I like readathons or not and concluded that in general I do not like them, but I also can’t resist a good readathon, especially if it has prompts, so I am making a TBR list for this readathon even if I don’t end up actually doing it. Contemporary-A-Thon is a ‘thon all about reading contemporary books, happening from the September 17-23 and is hosted by @BookHangover_ on Twitter and Youtubers Page and Pens, Chelseadollingand MyReadingIsOdd.

Here are the prompts and the books I’m hoping to read for each:

1. Read a book with orange on the cover

36039320

This…counts as orange, right? This book is about a music contest, plus it’s diverse, so I’m hoping it’ll be good even though people seemed not to be super into the author’s first book. It’s also a 400pg contemporary, and honestly, I always side-eye contemps that are 400+ pages, because usually they do not need to be that long. So I am skeptical about this one, but we will see.

 

2. Read a book that is dark/taboo/spooky

18046369

I requested this one impulsively because of the pretty cover, but I’m not generally into abuse stories. However, I read a positive review of it from a blogger I like, so I’m considering trying it.

 

3. Read a diverse book

32970644

I am so excited for this book. It’s basically about 1950s lesbian pulp fiction, and has a contemporary narrator and a historical narrator. Plus, I really liked this author’s lesbian Macbeth retelling, AS I DESCENDED. Hopes = high.

 

4. Read a book in a non-traditional format

Weirdly enough, I’m stuck on this one, even though I love books in quirky formats. If it’s in a quirky format, it’s basically automatically a Mel book. I just don’t have any contemporaries in weird formats on my TBR currently, apparently.

 

5. Read a book with your initials on the cover

This one is hard. Plus, do I use my real initials or online name initials? This is dilemmatic.

 

6. Read a book by a new to you author

35716237

People seem to really like Bowman’s first book, STARFISH, so I am hopeful about this book, which is about Hawaii and music and grief.

 

7. Read a predicted five star read

38720939

I will read everything Tahereh Mafi writes and I’m so excited for her to write a contemporary novel (2002 counts as contemporary, right?? Is my life historical fiction already????)

Continue Reading

If We Were Having Tea

If We Were Having Tea is my version of a post called If We Were Having Coffee that I once saw on one of my old favorite book blogs before it became basically a mommy blog (no, I’m not salty about it, you’re salty!) I meant for these to be only occasional posts but I seem to do one every month or two, so I guess this is the September If We Were Having Tea. It’s a personal post that is basically life updates. Plus, I’m still out of post ideas so…here we are.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you that as of the writing of this post, I’m currently reading Lev Rosen’s book, JACK OF HEARTS (AND OTHER PARTS). I’d pitch it as Simon Vs. meets Pretty Little Liars. It’s about a gay teen who’s very sexually active and starts writing an advice column about relationships and sex, and at the same time starts getting creepy notes from a stalker. I am enjoying it so far, though honestly I skip the graphic sex descriptions because I am not a person who enjoys reading graphic sex. For the most part it blacks out for current sex scenes, but even reading about condoms coming off makes my stomach turn, which is weird because in real life I am fine with condoms?? Okay, this is getting to be too much information…moving onward.

If we were having tea…I’d say things have been tough the past couple weeks at the library and I am burnt out af. I had to work two Friday and Saturdays in a row, and this weekend I only had Sunday off and I have to work five days in a row again until I can have another weekend. People have been extra nuts and needy for the past two weeks, and my coworker went on vacation so I am at the desk by myself dealing with all these problems with no help.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you my anxiety has been so much better for the past month or two, so even though work is stressful, I’m at least not anxious. My new meds seem to be working very well, and my suicidal ideation is gone for the most part, too. This is probably the best I’ve felt mental health wise in two or three years.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you I am having trouble reading my most anticipated books of the year, yet again. I still haven’t read A REAPER AT THE GATES because I don’t know if I need to reread A TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT, and I’ve tried to read WILDCARD a few times but can’t get into it. I like it so far, but I am just waiting for the perfect moment to read it so everything can be perfect for my reading experience of it. Basically, I’m putting too much pressure on myself as usual.

If we were having tea…I’d talk about the mental health workshop I went to a couple weeks ago (which is one of the reasons I had to work two weeks in a row). It was somewhat interesting, but also kind of triggering when we got to topics like suicide, and I had to leave the room until we moved on to something else. It was also kind of gratifying to know that in most of our role plays and quiz questions, I had the right idea about what to do with teens who have mental health issues.

If we were having tea…I’d say I wish I had more of a life outside of work. I feel like I go to work, come home, eat, and sleep, and that’s about it. I have nothing fun I do on weekends, and it’s starting to get me down because I’m just bored on weekends and don’t come back into the week feeling refreshed. I wrote recently about my search for a hobby, but it’s not going well as of now.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you I’m getting into Tumblr again. I have two Tumblrs right now, one main and one side blog. My side blog is about witchcraft and books and combining them. I like writing the posts and learning about this subculture even if I don’t actually believe in some of their beliefs; it’s just really fascinating and reminds me of my Wicca phase when I was much younger. I’m also debating starting a sort of studyblr where I would share more personal stuff and pages from my bujo, since I have no outlet to share that even though I’m really into bujo-ing.

 

Continue Reading