october rewind \\ it was…a month

what happened

  • My mom came to visit. Since I have been off work for health reasons for the past couple of weeks, my mom decided to come visit me and keep me company (and drive me to all my many appointments, which was also nice, lol). It was really nice to spend time with her and to be taken care of. I was really sad when she left but I really enjoyed our time together and spending time with my family always lifts my spirits up when I’m feeling down so I’m really glad I got to see her while on leave from work.
  • I started a more serious mental health treatment. As you may recall from my September rewind post (and most of my posts since then, tbh. Honestly I feel like half of my online brand is being mentally unstable, lol), I’ve been really struggling with depression and anxiety and it seems to get worse every time it cycles back in, so I decided to look into a treatment in addition to meds to help things along. I’m really hoping it works.
  • I got a ukulele! Well, technically my mom got me a ukulele. I’ve actually wanted to learn ukulele for a really long time because I’ve always wanted to be able to play an instrument where I can accompany myself singing, and I’ve been interested in trying to write songs lately. I can currently play three chords and accompany myself singing “In the Jungle.” I’m really looking forward to learning more ukulele; I think it will be really fun and give me something creative to do.
  • I started a booktube channel and looking into booktube more! I’ve been avoiding booktube for the past few years because I was a bit of a book blogging purist, but when I went on leave, I really needed something to do, and so I decided to try booktube again and actually found a few booktubers whose videos I really like, though monicakim and readingwithcindy are my favorites. It made me want to try booktubing on the side of blogging as something different to challenge myself with, and I ended up posting my first video, which you can view here.
  • I realized I don’t want to write a novel right now. I’ve been pushing so hard for myself to go back to fiction writing, but through the Artist’s Way, I’ve realized that though I still want to write, I think I’m more interested in other types of writing at the moment. I realized there is no point in forcing myself to try to get back to something I’m not in the mood to do, and I’d probably be more creative in my life if I stopped trying to do something I don’t really want to do right now. This was a huge realization for me, and I think that’s why I’ve been more open to trying other creative activities like booktubing and learning ukulele.


what i read


to make monsters out of girls  – amanda lovelace
girls with razor hearts – suzanne young

This was a very light reading month for me because my mental health stuff made it too hard to concentrate on reading. I finished my reread of Amanda Lovelace’s fourth poetry collection in preparation to read its sequel, TO DRINK COFFEE WITH A GHOST (or something like that. I always get this title mixed up for some reason). I also read the sequel to GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS, aka GIRLS WITH RAZOR HEARTS, which I absolutely LOVED. Honestly, if you haven’t read this book, GET THEE TO A BOOKSTORE (or library! or however you can get it!) These books are so badass and have such an important message about feminism and fighting the patriarchy but are also so fun and just entertaining stories. I will stan this series to the ends of the earth and I’m not sorry about it.


blogging life

I’m only THREE FOLLOWERS away from 500, which will be the biggest milestone I’ve ever reached in my 7 year blogging career. What I’m most happy about with that though is all the genuine connections I’ve made. When I first started blogging, I was so shy that I never commented on other blogs or responded to comments because I was scared, and had a couple bad experiences with comments that made me wary of commenting, especially on bigger bloggers’ platforms. But now, I feel like I’ve made genuine friendships with people, and that has made my blogging experience so much richer than just trying to amass followers.

I’m also really enjoying blogging a lot more now that I’m not pushing myself to post every single day. I have a general “rule” that I start posting on Wednesdays but don’t worry about posting during the beginning of the week anymore, and that has helped me feel less pressured by blogging. I’m also enjoying writing more witchy-themed posts, and am pleased that a couple of my favorite witchy posts have become my most-viewed posts of all time. I’m just having way more fun blogging than I was having right before my hiatus last month, and I’m still really glad I took it and realized I can blog differently and less and still enjoy it and be “successful” at it.


my favorite posts



  • Watching We Have Always Lived in the Castle. One of my most popular posts is my post about why the MC from this book is a witch, which makes me super happy because I loved this book so freaking much. I was psyched to learn that it had become a movie that was available on Netflix, so my mom, my boyfriend and I watched it while she was here. The book is definitely better, but they really captured the vibe of the story and Taissa Farmiga’s acting was spot on.
  • My grandma’s necklace. While my mom visited, she also gifted me a necklace that used to belong to my grandmother with the Hebrew symbol for “life.” It’s really pretty and I think it’s going to become a staple jewelry piece for me because it has such a special meaning for me coming from my family and the word “life” and trying to recover from depression.
  • My new gel pens. I FINALLY found the pens/journaling section in my local craft store and OMG, it is beautiful. I ended up buying a set of gelly roller pens in sparkly colors. I love using them to color in my mood charts and to write my morning pages for the Artist’s Way.

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  1. I feel you on the mental health thing. I finally found the courage to contact a clinic…they called me back, but I have yet to set up an appointment. I’ve been battling depression since I was in high school and never got professional treatment. It was easy to hide behind my work and class schedule and ignore it, but now I can’t. I hope you feel better.

  2. I’m happy you got to spend some time with your mom and I really hope that this new treatment will be good to you, Mel. I’m always here if you ever need to talk and always sending you all the love and positive vibes. You’re doing amazing. I’m SO happy you reached such a great milestone on your blog, yay!! and most importantly, it warms my heart to see that you feel like you made more genuine connections and friendships through blogging, it is one of the best things ever. I’m so happy our paths crossed and so happy to know you <3 and yay for enjoying blogging more while taking it at your own rhythm, too, that's so important <3
    I hope you will have a lovely November, sending you love <3

  3. I’m happy to hear that you got to spend a lot of time with your mom and have managed to start some new creative hobbies! I wish you the best of luck with learning to play the ukulele and doing Booktube videos!! (will definitely have to check out the latter some time later 🥰) I also hope everything will be going well with your treatmeant 💕

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