I think the main theme of my recap posts since starting the blog has basically been “I survived.” Which is okay, I guess, and understandable since a LOT has happened since I started the blog, including continuing in my new job, settling into my apartment, getting kittens, having my boyfriend move in, a lot of mental health problems, and a new health issue with my heart. That is…way too much for a little me to handle, honestly. But in June, I did manage to survive some more, despite heavier depression and a super stressful library event that over 600 people attended.
The library event, which was basically a comicon, was probably the most stressful part of the month aside from worsening depression and the heart thing continuing. I have been stressed about it since I got the job and they kept telling me “oh hey, you’ll have to help run and put this together next year! off you go!” because I have not done much library programming, let alone a ginormous event that over 600 people have attended. However, it happened last Saturday, it went well, and I SURVIVED and did okay. I now feel much better about helping to run it next year after having gone through it, plus I’ll have my work partner running it with me, so I think we’ll be good. And that is a MAJOR stress off my chest.
The depression has not been so great. I felt weirdly affected by the recent celebrity suicides in the U. S. (Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain), even though I didn’t know too too much about either of them. Plus, Corey and I watched a season of Masterchef recently and found out literally right after watching the finale that one of the finalists committed suicide a year after the show was filmed. I took that really hard because he was so ambitious and had so many big dreams and honestly I think he could have achieved any of them, and that’s kind of what all my college professors told me before I graduated. Everyone thought I would do so well, and I feel like other than career-wise I’m not doing that well. These three things have made my suicidal ideation a lot worse than normal, and I’ve started seeing my therapist twice a week now because I just need to get through it and really want to WANT to be alive, which honestly I haven’t felt since a friend died a couple years ago.
But, I am doing my best to hang in there and just keep pushing through. My goal is to make it through August, and then maybe if I can do that, make it through another month. A year feels like so much, and forever seems impossible right now, but I’m doing my best and trying out a lot of new things to try and help myself, so hopefully something works.
Now, onto bookish things!
What I Read
I was secretly hoping to read at least 10 books this month, but as of the writing of this post, I have only read 6. However, this is still higher than normal for me this year, so I am still pleased with that number. Plus, I’m also 10 books ahead on my Goodreads challenge, which I now hope to exceed in numbers.
In terms of what I actually read, I read 2 nonfiction books and 4 YA books. I really didn’t read anything bad this month. SUMMER OF SALT was a little underwhelming but still very interesting and charming, with a good dose of bird-related magical realism and cool magical skills. My favorite two books were definitely INVISIBLE GHOSTS by Robyn Schneider and Morgan Matson’s new book, SAVE THE DATE. I’ve already talked about both in a couple other posts, so suffice it to say, they were both excellent.
My stats are still very low (under 50 views per day), which I sometimes feel bad about, but I am still new and growing as a millionth-time blogger, so that is probably normal?? However, I’m getting more comments than I ever used to and more likes, which is very gratifying and nice. I like replying to people’s comments and talking to other bloggers and making online friends, which I’ve never had before.
My favorite things that I posted this month were all of my Pride-related posts, which I featured in a semi-feature called It’s Pride! Here are some of my favorite Pride posts:
I also started my own occasional Saturday feature called CATURDAY, where I pick a breed of cat and choose a book based on their personality or other characteristics. So far I’ve posted on Tortishells and Turkish Angoras. I am enjoying writing these posts thus far and people seem to like them as well 😀