Thinking on the positive side is very hard for me, not only because of mental health stuff, but also because I am just generally very hard on myself. When I do something that’s a big deal, I always tend to think oh, maybe it’s not a big deal because I never thought I *wouldn’t* do the thing. But, in reality, I did do a lot of big things this year, so this post is my retrospective year wrap-up just focusing on positive things that happened.
- I moved out of my parents’ house. This is the biggest thing for me. Living at home for two years after college was really hard for me because it felt like regressing to teenagehood after four years of independence while I lived at school. And, even though I would never judge anyone else for living at home after school because it is very practical for a lot of people, I felt like I was failing. So moving out was a big deal, especially considering how horribly anxious I was.
- I got my first full-time job. As a librarian, which is my field! I got what I considered my dream job, a teen librarian in the city where I went to school and most wanted to live in order to be closer to my friends (and eventually boyfriend). The job has been a struggle in a lot of ways but I have definitely learned a lot and done a lot of things I thought I couldn’t do before.
- I got my own cats. It was an adjustment at first because I really missed my childhood/home cats. But I love Willow and Cedar so so so so much, and I cannot imagine my life without their cute furry faces. I have been a good cat mom and converted their dad into a cat person, so those things are all big successes.
- I learned to parallel park. This may not seem like a big deal but in the city where I live, it is essential to know how to parallel park, and it is something I previously never thought I could do that I now do on a fairly regular basis. Go small adult things!
- My anxiety got better. When I first moved and basically for the past few years, my anxiety and depression were TERRIBLE. I honestly probably shouldn’t have been working at all while it was so bad, because there were days I had to go home early from work because I had a panic attack or couldn’t go in because I felt so terrible. But, with the right meds and getting more confident at my job, my anxiety has become much more manageable. I think to some degree I’ll always have a little anxiety and depression, but it’s at least liveable now and not constant and destroying my life.
- …I started blogging again!! I almost forgot that I started this blog again this year. I blogged for about 5 years before quitting for a while after I graduated college, but I missed it too much and I’m so so happy I came back to it. In addition to simply starting again, I also have made it a much more fulfilling experience this time around by actually talking to people via comments and creating a new Twitter account just for blogging where I talk to people sometimes and even tag authors in tweets where I gush about their books which is something I never though I’d do.
So I guess in reality I did do a lot of good things this year. I feel like the biggest accomplishment for me is definitely my mental health improving, since that has been a challenge for me for my whole life. I am hoping in 2019 I continue to get better and am able to do more things that I never thought I’d do as I do so.