september rewind // really just…no

Posted October 2, 2019 by cottoncandybookwitch in wrap-up / 4 Comments

Y’all, September was…not good. I’m excited that’s fall, and excited that it’s over, but I’m not holding out much hope for October either to be honest. But…on the bright side, IT’S WITCHY SEASON!! Not that every season for me isn’t witchy season, but now it’s socially acceptable to be a witch all the time. I won’t wear a pointy hat in public but goddamn, I am ready to get my witch back on. October, let’s go!

And now for the September recap…

what happened

  • I started looking into other jobs. Again. There are times when being a librarian is okay and sometimes I like working with patrons, especially the kids, but overall, I think I need a new perspective on life and to see if being a librarian is what I want to do or not. I started the application process for a job I REALLY, REALLY want that I would just die to get, and it sounds like the perfect role for me and really intellectually challenging and interesting, and I want to go for it.
  • I started looking into more serious mental health treatment. I’m at a point in my life where I’ve tried a ton of treatments, both therapy and meds, and nothing seems to be working and I keep cycling in and out of severe depression. This past month I started looking into more serious treatment and I’m really nervous about it and hope my insurance covers it because I feel like I’m running out of options.
  • I started doing more witchy things again. Mostly bringing crystals to work every day and working on my grimoire. I also started a witchy pinterest (see homepage for link) just for this blog that will basically be aesthetic boards for signs, witch types, Harry Potter houses, and books. I’m looking into getting a separate planner for witchy/blog stuff to keep track of the phases of the moon, astrological happenings, sabbats, and blog posts relating to those things, since this is, after all, a book witch blog. Honestly, doing more witchy things has been one of the most helpful things to combat my depression so I’m glad I have the motivation to do that at least.
  • Oh, I went on hiatus. Things just got to be too much and I wasn’t feeling inspired to blog so I just disappeared for two weeks. I didn’t do anything on my hiatus except mope and feel depressed, so it wasn’t the most productive or useful hiatus I’ve ever had.
  • I picked up the Artist’s Way again. Some of you may remember that I did a course called the Artist’s Way a while back to try to inspire myself to get back to writing, but dropped it after the fourth week. I’m doing it again, but this time, I’m doing it at my own pace and not following the weekly time constraint, not overthinking the religious/spiritual aspect, and trying not to put too much pressure on myself about it. I can’t decide if I want to post about it again or not.

 

what i read

Honestly, I was not that thrilled by reading this month. I didn’t have the energy to read and couldn’t really concentrate. I read things that I know were good, and one that I genuinely enjoyed, but overall I didn’t have very strong feelings about what I read. My favorite book of the month was definitely GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS, even though I guessed the twist halfway through the book. Somehow though, that didn’t deter me from enjoying it at all because the writing was so great and the characters were really interesting.

My least favorite book was probably HOUSE OF SALT AND SORROWS. I had such high hopes for this Ocean Gothic book, but honestly, I should’ve DNFed it when I originally thought I should. It was somewhat dark, but not as dark as I wanted it to be, and the romance made me gag. The MC literally fell for one of the first guys she spent time with and they barely knew each other. And also, she was so boring. I kept forgetting it was narrated in first person because she was so not integral to the story. The author would have been better off writing the book in third person because Annaleigh had, like, zero personality.

 

blogging life

You can expect some updates on how I’m going to blog differently soon to make it more manageable, enjoyable, and overall fun and fulfilling. BUT I did reach 492 followers this month! My goal for the year was to make it to 500 followers, and I definitely think I will be able to do that between October and January. Also, I already said this, but I took a hiatus. I was just feeling super uninspired and not motivated to do anything because depression, but actually, writing about blogging in my morning pages for the Artist’s Way really helped me sort out how I want to blog and how to make it better for myself.

Also, on a social media note, Phil Stamper, author of the amazing 2020 queer book THE GRAVITY OF US, followed me on Twitter and thanked me for being first in line at his first ever signing at Book Expo, and I was very flattered and also embarrassed that he read my post because I said we were both awkward. Go me. But it was one of the first times I’ve talked to an author on Twitter and it was very nice and not scary. So that was good.

 

favorites

  • Watching season 16 of Top Chef. I have been very vocal about my love of top chef in past wrap-ups so this will probably surprise nobody. I got an Amazon gift card for my birthday last month and I decided to spend part of it on the most recent season of Top Chef because I couldn’t find any other good versions, and let me tell you, it was an excellent decision. This season is so much better than last season and is one of my favorite seasons ever. I’ll be sad when it’s done and I have no more top chef (though tbh I’ll probably just go back and rewatch seasons 10 and 14 and maybe 7 even though I don’t like the winner).
  • Drinking tea again. I haven’t had much tea since moving for some weird reason even though I have a million and a half teas. I actually cleared out some of the teas that didn’t appeal to me also which was super hard to do because getting rid of tea???????? But now I only have teas that smell delicious and I’m excited for tea season.
  • My crystals. One of the few bright spots in my life is my crystals. I have a couple protection crystals that I carry around that are super effective, and also an anti-depressant crystal that helps on some days. I realize that any effect they have is probably a placebo effect of some kind, especially because I only use them on days when I feel like they’ll work because I think it’s silly to waste their energy.

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4 responses to “september rewind // really just…no

  1. I’m sorry to hear that September has been such a hard month, I really hope that October is going to be a bit better for you! 💕 I’m also keeping my fingers crossed that you get your dream job!! 🤞 I wanted to started the Artist’s Way as well, but that was back in July, so idk when I’ll actually try starting it for real 😯 I’m definitely drinking all the tea as well, that’s my favorite thing about the colder weather 🍵

    • cottoncandybookwitch

      thank you, Caro <3 <3 I hope you do start the artist's way, I'd be very interested to hear what you think of it and if it helps you. also yes yes tea is the best :D

  2. October will be better, positive thinking! 😀 September was a hard time for me too, I was uninspired to write and/do anything except wake up, go to work, sleep and repeat. So I feel you <3 I'm looking forward to reading more of your witchy blog posts this month! It's the perfect time lol, sending you good vibes!

    • cottoncandybookwitch

      <3 <3 I hope October is better for you also <3

      And thank you, I will definitely be upping my witchy game since now it's socially acceptable to be a witch lol. Thanks :)

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