if we were having tea

If We Were Having Tea is a personal post I do every now and then to check in with myself and in the hopes that you will all let me know how you are all doing in the comments. Lots has happened recently, so I felt it was time to do another If We Were Having Tea post. So, grab a blanket and maybe a kitty (or other floof), a cup of your favorite cozy beverage, and settle in for a life update from your favorite witch:

 

If we were having tea…I’d tell you that all things considered, I’m actually doing a lot better than I would have been a few months ago. I keep thinking thank GOD I did my serious mental health treatment back in November because I do not think I would be okay right now if I hadn’t. I’m low-key down probably a little over half the time, but I think that’s to be expected given the circumstances. I feel like crying sometimes but restrain myself somehow because I kind of feel like if I let myself fall apart I’ll become a wreck and nobody wants that. I know crying about all this would probably be healthier in the long run, but I just can’t let myself do it yet.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you I’ve had enough of a break from work and am ready to go back, lol. I tend to get super burnt out by librarianship every three or four months, and I was definitely approaching burn out territory when this all started, but now I’m ready to not be a telecommuting librarian. Another job would be fine to telecommute, but I actually kind of miss some patrons and having daily interactions with people even though doing it constantly is draining? It’s weird; on the one hand, I know librarianship might not be what I want to do forever, but I also kind of miss doing it and having those interactions with people.

If we were having tea…I’d say I’m really worried about what people in the city are going to do to participate in the census. The library system where I work was going to be a huge census pusher to make sure everyone gets counted so the city/state can get the funding it needs, and that’s even more important this year. I’m also worried about how my kids who probably don’t have computers at home are doing. I’m also trying to emotionally and professionally prepare myself to do a lot of helping with job hunting when we go back, because lots of people will be facing unemployment. I’m taking two courses right now about job search/resumes, so I’m hoping I’ll feel more confident helping people with that by the time we go back.

If we were having tea…I’d talk about how I’m not really enjoying anything right now and am finding it hard to focus, especially on reading. I’m debating just going and trying to read all my most anticipated reads while I’m off to give myself something more to be excited about with reading, since I’m finding it hard to connect with what I’ve been trying to read. I’m also putting a weird amount of pressure on myself with my bullet journal all of a sudden and feel like every page that goes in has to be perfect.

If we were having tea…I’d say thank goodness for My Little Pony. Last month, I met someone on the Bumble BFF app who turned out to also be into MLP, which I used to love in college, and I was inspired to rewatch and then continue the show. Honestly, I relate so much to Twilight Sparkle; she’s such a Virgo. This show is so comforting and sweet and cute and pastel and just what I need right now.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you that I’ve been kind of interested in trying junk journaling. From what I gathered from the Junk Journal Junkies FB group, a junk journal is a journal of ephemera, pretty paper, and kind of like an art journal/scrapbook hybrid. It reminds me kind of of this project I did in high school where I had to make a Book of Self with an old book I didn’t want anymore, which was super hard for me because I love all books. But it seems like a hobby I’d enjoy for sure, and I kind of want to make a paranormal junk journal/witchy junk journal.

If we were having tea…I’d say I’m weirdly inspired by Tumblr right now?? I’ve been into it since discovering witchblr two years ago and accidentally making a witchblr that now has 3,000+ followers, but I there are just so many facets of Tumblr that fascinate me, like dark academia Tumblr and studyblr and cottagecore Tumblr and soft&delicate aesthetic Tumblr. I feel weird about this because I feel like lots of younger people are on Tumblr but I just really enjoy scrolling Tumblr and making a million Tumblrs that I can’t keep up with.

If we were having tea…I’d tell you I’m anxious a lot of the time because of all the uncertainty in the world and my life. My state just got a shelter in place order, and I know I definitely won’t be going back to work before that is lifted, and probably not even until the state of emergency is lifted. It’s hard to keep going when so much is up in the air, and I don’t know what life is going to look like in two months, or even a week. But overall, I am doing fairly alright, and I’m very grateful to be in a position where I am off work but still able to get paid and keep my health insurance, because I know many people are struggling. But there’s still a lot of uncertainty, and that’s really hard to stomach sometimes.

 

How are you all doing? Are you on Tumblr? Tell me in the comments!

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