reflecting on my reading in 2019

Is it really almost…halfway through the year?? It is May, so I guess the answer to that is yes. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve been reading this year, so here is a post about my reading habits as of now in 2019.

  • I‘ve read 4/10 books for YARC. I thought I was super behind on YARC, but maybe 4/10 isn’t *that* behind?? I’ve really liked all the books I’ve read for this challenge, especially SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW (kpop, Hong Kong, food) and THE KISS QUOTIENT (aka the book that convinced me that I might actually like adult romance). I feel like I should’ve read more YARC books by now, but hopefully I’ll read some this month? I plan to make my next one LOVE FROM A TO Z by S. K. Ali or THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT SWEETIE by Sandhya Menon.
  • I’ve read a lot slower. I still feel really bad that my reading pace has slowed down so much over the past few years. Apparently poor concentration is a symptom of the type of depression I have, so maybe it’s not my fault, but I still feel really guilty about it. I used to be able to read upwards of 100 books a year and now I’m lucky if I get 50.
  • I’m actually enjoying reading multiple books at once. I have been experimenting with non-monogamous reading and reading multiple books at a time. It’ makes me read a book even slower because I’m not focusing only on that book, but also makes me feel like I’m being more productive by reading a bunch at once. Plus, if I find myself struggling to concentrate on a particular book for some reason, I can take a break and read another book.
  • I’m still enjoying fantasies and fluffy contemporaries. I’ve noticed I read a lot more to escape my life than I think I used to, so I’m still shying away from my old favorites, aka gritty and depressing contemporaries, and loving fantasies and fluffy contemps instead.
  • I really like rereading. I didn’t really reread until last year, but once I tried it I realized it’s fun, especially because I can reread a lot faster than reading something new. It’s cool to experience old favorite books again. I also reread some poetry recently and found it to be equally inspiring in terms of getting me to write as I did the first time I read them.
  • I’ve DNFed a lot. Or maybe it just feels like a lot because I’ve DNFed a couple of my most anticipated reads, including STAIN by A. G. Howard, which I still feel super guilty about. I usually don’t feel guilty about DNFing books, but I’ve DNFed a couple most anticipated books and also a few that I preordered, and I am starting to feel a little bit like I am cursed to DNF books that I preorder.
  • Overall I feel like the books I’ve read have been pretty meh. I’ve read some stuff I like, but in general, I’m not feeling super invested in or passionate about the books I’m reading in the same way I used to. Maybe it’s because I’m reading different genres, and I feel differently about the books I read in those genres than I do about books I used to read. Though I’ve rated some things relatively highly, when I think about my reading this year I just get a sense of…meh. Nothing super stands out to me as amazing except THE KISS QUOTIENT, but nothing sticks out to me as particularly bad either. I’m not sure if it’s the books I’m reading or my depression talking, but it’s frustrating that not much I’m reading is sticking with me or satisfying me in a deep way like reading used to.
  • I haven’t read any queer books??? This is so unlike me and I don’t know why this is. I tried RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE but thought it was painfully slow so didn’t finish it, but I haven’t read anything else queer. This is very off-brand for me and I am ashamed.

Overall I do not feel great about my reading this year and reading in general has not been very fun for me. I keep doing it because it’s literally my life and it used to bring me a lot of joy, so I’m hoping I can find that again. Maybe I’m just reading the wrong books. Maybe it’s me. Who knows. I’m just going to cross my fingers that something sticks with me and stands out and gets me back into enjoying reading again soon.

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  1. My favorite line: I have been experimenting with non-monogamous reading and reading multiple books at a time.

    I love how you phrased it…made me laugh.

    I feel like I have been in a reading slump because I haven’t been reading many books. I read at least one poem, one short story, and one essay each day but it feels different.

    Thanks for this post!

    1. haha I’m glad you enjoyed my phrasing of that lol.

      I hope you are able to come out of your reading slump soon!

    1. yes! I love Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Not Otherwise Specified, The Brightsiders, Ash (Malinda Lo).

      I’m really looking forward to reading The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta, Tell Me How You Really Feel, and These Witches Don’t Burn, but I haven’t read them yet.

  2. I really hope you’ll find your love for reading again and that the rest of the year will be going better and better for you, Mel! <3
    I would love to reread a little more, just as well. I find it so easy to get lost into all the new books and not get back to old favorites, I want to do that a bit more for sure 🙂

    1. I hope I do too. I’m finding that rereading and reading multiple books at once is somewhat helping me not feel so much pressure, so that’s a start at least!

  3. I’m sad to hear that you’re struggling a bit with writing right now, but I hope that you can find back to the joy it used to bring you! Keeping my fingers crossed that you read a lot of great books next 🙂 I’m also going to start reading There’s Something about Sweetie soon!

  4. It’s always interesting to sit down and take stock of what’s been going on in your reading life… but I gotta say, I’m with you on a lot of these points. At the beginning of the year, I was reading a lot more, but lately I feel like I’m spread too thin in multiple areas of life and I just haven’t been reading as much as I’d like. But then when I do sit down to try and binge read for a few hours, I can’t seem to stay focused. It’s interesting you mentioned depression, because I’m wondering if that’s what’s going on with me as well. I feel mostly even-keeled emotionally, but I definitely have trouble accomplishing everything I’d like to in a day, and I wonder if my brain is just sabotaging me. I hope things get better for you soon <3

  5. I’m a bit conflicted about my reading this year partially because I ended up on a Harlequin kick and I am going through them like crazy. I feel like becoming a book blogger has really made me take stock in what I’m reading and that’s a strange feel compared to just reading for fun.

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