The post in which I am struggling // what am I even doing

Apologies for the somewhat depressing nature of this post, but I need a place to vent and express my thoughts, and this blog is it. Ironically though, the blog is one of the things I need to vent about. I know I’m only a couple weeks into blogging again, but I’m already starting to feel my old frustrations. I’m getting more comments and likes more frequently than I did on my other blogs, but I’m still not getting views. Again, I know I just started so nobody knows about me just yet, but I’m just very frustrated because I feel like I do all the right things in terms of blogging, yet I’ve never ever been a “successful” or “celebrity” book blogger.

I don’t even know if celebrity bloggers are really a thing anymore in the book blogging community because most of the original ones have quit or changed their blogging focus, so it’s just a bunch of smaller bloggers in general. Still, it’s hard when you feel like you’re putting in your work and doing your time and never ever seeming to get anywhere. It just makes me wonder if there’s really a point to blogging even though I like doing it.

I’m also questioning if it’s worth blogging because of blogging’s new place in the book world. It seems like book Twitter, bookstagram, and BookTube are all becoming much more important players in the book promotion world than book blogging, but the only one of those that really interests me is bookstagram (P. S., I have a bookstagram account @awordandawhisper! follow me for pretty book pics!). I’m enjoying bookstagram a little more than blogging because I get the validation of people liking and following me. I can also write tiny blurbs about books I post, and it’s less pressure writing-wise.

Additionally, it seems like there’s a particular style of blog writing going around that I just don’t think I can do. A lot of blogs I follow now have styles very similar to Paper Fury, whose blog I love and want to be best friends with. However, that style is so particular and also just not my personal style. I worry though that my style of writing traditional types of posts isn’t engaging or interesting enough, but it’s how I want to write. Still, I feel like my writing style puts me at a disadvantage and could be contributing to why I never seem to go anywhere with blogging.

Still, I like having a place where I can write about books or my life or creative things when I finally get around to doing them. Blogging is a great outlet for me and I really do enjoy it. I feel like I have so few things in my life right now outside of work that I make time for that I really have fun doing. I’m not really doing anything creative at all at the moment, and it’s starting to really drain me emotionally. I want to do more creative things because they make me feel good, but I’m always so tired and drained after work. I’m really struggling with feeling inadequate as a creative person, scared of taking the plunge and writing or playing music and being creative again, and finding the time and motivation to do things I like. However, not putting in the time to be creative is making me feel very down most of the time, so I need to find a solution for myself.

I really don’t know what to do about blogging. I really want to be part of the book social media community somehow, but don’t know where I fit in anymore. I like experimenting with bookstagram, but I have limited physical copies and am worried I’ll run out of things to post eventually. I’ve tried booktube but hate looking at myself speaking and don’t have the skills for it, and personally I prefer reading posts at my own pace to watching videos, so why would I do something I don’t even personally like? I still love blogging and it has a special place in my heart; I’m simply questioning whether it’s worth it to keep doing it and if I have a place in the community and if blogging itself has a place.

Thanks for reading,

your friendly neighborhood discouraged book blogger

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